I like spelling my name Ema. It makes me look...special /needs. Quite endearing really. Of course, this is the first time I have ever spelt it this way, I am not a complete retard. I've thought about it a lot though, when I've been very bored. In fact I've thought many things before. I noticed earlier I overuse the word 'I' too much. It makes me appear very self-involved. I won't lie, I kind of am. It is quite difficult being so self-centred, yet not selfish. Quite the contradiction. But you know, in 22 years of living a life as a being so close to perfection, you can allow me that one fault. Though it's not as bad as being selfish, so I win. In the smallest way possible.

I am so keen to go to get my Masters in Australia, they have a course which really does define perfection. Moreso than myself. Which is saying something. I could be a Master of Creative Writing, Editing, and Publishing. Ace! I need to get on to it. With a Law degree this'll be tough. So I have come up with a perfect idea for a website. Keep your eyes peeled. I have also written to all newspapers and magazines in Exeter asking if they will publish me. lol at just asking that, and not sending any articles. Oh well.

I have another interview tomorrow, it is for a legal secretarial role. I am the worst secretary ever, extremely lazy, incompetent, I like to play on facebook all day etc. But the money is good, so maybe I will pull my socks up if I get it. Probably the same socks that haven't been washed in a month, but what the hell. Basically, I want to go to Exeter for the day shopping and looking for things, and need an excuse to keep the old man happy. So, interview it is. Umm, yeah.

I've made myself sound quite insufferable in this interivew. I'm not that bad. Save your judgement for when I have killed a man, which could very well happen if my Reading Festival tickets don't arrive. I hate buying tickets off ebay.

I like how I have redesigned my journal with an utter laziness to go and search for pictures of TV characters or whatnot, and have thus produced my own creation: a goose. He is pretty good though, you must admit. A little sprinkling of me me me (literally) and he's created. I feel like God, many have likened me to Jesus in the past (in a power and status way, not a looks way), but this is really the best promotion I could have wished for. I am not really into any TV shows at the moment, though I have been catching up on Buffy since being at home. Whatevah.

I had a job interview the other day. Fab. It's for a personal injury claims advisor. The main reason it appealed to me was because of the Goldie Lookin' Chain song Bad Boy Limp..."if you wanna make money then you gotta think fast, phone claims direct cos there's a nail in your arse, it's very simple this is one step of two, first hurt yourself then claim you wanna sue" etc etc. I like the interview technique, "strengths based interview" a.k.a leading questions, no clarification as to what the questions mean etc. Pathetic. Ridiculous questions like "do you agree with this motto: don't put off til tomorrow what you could get done today?"....what am I going to say? "Actually, I like to leave stuff festering as long as possible". Anyway I obviously got offered the job, lol at getting one of the highest scores they've ever seen. Ohh, what an achievement. High five. Except now I don't really want it, it's not that much money really though it's alright, but it's in an office again and I will probably quit within a couple of weeks. I honestly think I'd be happier just working in Somerfields or some shit like that. I am the first to admit that my attitude is immature. I should be grateful I got offered it blah blah. But also, I can't stand the thought of wasting my time. I hate badmin jobs, office jobs, etc. Fucking hell, what to do?

Just over a week now til Reading festival. Non-sarcastic high five.

On the train the other day, these two women had dogs, springer spaniels I think. They didn't know each other, but happened to have the same dog. Well...same breed of dog, they didn't have half a dog each and then put it together to make one whole dog like in Aladdin with that small bug thing. Lol at their conversation, seriously. "Her mother's name is Buffy, and her father is Jester only we weren't sure if Jester was the father, it could've been Paul but then we thought well Buffy wouldn't go for Paul, but then would she go for Jester? Anyway Jester is the cousin of Paul so as you could imagine that was a bit of a pickle. But then Misty is the sister of Paul and now she's pregnant, hopefully not by Paul but who knows. Carol, the mother of Misty is now seeing Jester, so that's nice". On and on and on. Imagine a broad Westcountry accent too. Ooo rrr. Oh, of course these people were LUNATICS and speaking about DOGS. I worry about people a lot.

The title to the blog is aimed at you, the reader. You just don't know what it feels like to be lonely. Only one friend remembers me, Humaira (I would link you, but I have forgotten how). It is by a terrible band called The Feeling, who I think are the ugliest band in the world. I am not a judgemental person (ahem...), but seriously, have a look at them. You got your Edward Scissorhands, you got your Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz, the list goes on really. I saw them on that pitiful Charlotte Church show, and she (cringingly) performs with the guest band at the time. lol at her warbling "nhhheevvvaaahhhh beeee lhhhoowwwneeeleeeeee" in her opera voice all over it, making it worse than it was already. Jesus, people.

I have decided to reinstate this journal. So be warned. If you wish to defriend me, please do so. Chances are, if you can't remember me, I can't remember you either. And I wouldn't want that to clutter up my friends page either. So, yes.

After graduating from Exeter University, I moved randomly to Bristol for a year. A year of turbulence. A year where I cleverly nicknamed admin, badmin. Clever. Though it was a fun year in many ways, I have decided to return to Exeter in September to reclaim my youth and move in with some good friends. I think I deserve at least one more year of dossing. Speaking of dossing, I like how I am currently on job seeker's allowance. The utter shame of it. The only place open in daylight hours that actually has bouncers because of some of the scummy people in there. I liked the obvious crack/smack addict in there last time who decided to rearrange all the chairs and had to keep being man handled by the bouncers. Nice. So I got her number and made a jolly good old time of it afterwards /lies.

I realise my icon does not match the green colours. Apparently all my other icons are 'inactive' at the moment. Maybe they have taken inspiration from my brain? It has been inactive for a number of years now. Good stuff.

Hello! I am alive. How nice for me. It has been 50 weeks since I last posted, rock on.

Yo ho ho...etc. Just trying to appeal to all you piratez fans out there.

Anyway, it would appear I haven't posted in almost half a year. I thought it was about time I should really. How is everyone? Right back to me now, I am now a Bachelor of Law. I have finished university complete with law degree. I am probably more educated than you, unlucky. Not that that's anything to boast about /haha I have a degree. Obviously I have been busy revising for my exams. When I say 'revising' read 'getting drunk etc', but hey whatev, still passed blah blah. My laptop has been broken for several months as well, I have just had it returned to me, all fixed, so I may post more often - depending on whether any of you can remember me. I suppose I could be summarised in the following words if you have: funny, magical, annoying, double F breasts...no wait that last one was Lea, sorry. Lmfao I have never really described myself as 'magical' before, I almost want to spell it with a 'k' so you can tell I ain't no lightweight wicca /ain't no wicca at all.

P.S. fuck-forever.com is now a porn site. Get clicking and you could get fucking. Good times.

One Word

Describe me in one word - just one.

Comment to me, then post this entry to your Live Journal and see how many strange things people think about you.

I stole this off goingooo. As I am arrogant. Anyway I shall probably update properly sometime but yes, comment!

lmfao hello. am so hammered. it is like half 3 in the morning have just reutnred home from club. shake it like a polaroid picture etc. so imtalkinf to my old friend vree in msns, bree i mean. woo. leia thnk you for the ico you re geat.

lmnfao i csan like not type. why am i evenr onlne? oh yes tosee if tony was. so yeah i wroteto my crusg (cos her was online): ps note how good eht typing is:

Emma says:
what are you doing online at 3am, especially when we have a 9 o clock lecture
Emma says:
i actually bet you are in bed, i might do the same
Emma says:
see you tomorrow anyway


lmao i am so funny, y'day i was sayinf howmy lecturer didnt like me and he said "how coulf snynr not like you emma?>" i was quite touched by this. lmfao touched. not literally obv. if wasliterally i might be having sex righy now iunstead of updatin my blog etc.

so yes taks for icon leia, se uoiu soon emilu, talia i love ya babex, mezzo yo, lmfaowrfm kajsa, jina, elise, angie lol at tyupign peoples names, rov corey, karent , etc etc lmfao

so yeah um shall blog proppers laterz vavezx

Hello everyone, it's that time of year again. Now the Queen /Rolf Harris has been on our screens giving us seasonal greetings, it is time for Emma and Emily to do the same. Welcome to Two Thousand and Six /Sex. She's thinking six six six I'm thinking sex, are you hoping for a miracle? This is the year of the Tiger /eye of the tiger /who knows, you can only be friends with people in the same birth year as you though /Chinese zodiac. In this year we'd like to nominate Eugene for President (of world and universe), LOST for death, Hurley and Michelle McManus for a diet, The Queen for new teeth a la Rolf, Mischa for accessorize /H&M /Charity shops /The O.C. James Blunt has represented Britain really well this year, cheers James, you're beautiful too. And your life is beautiful, and I saw an Angel (all the girls fancy him) standing there...your love is pure. Pete Doherty has been stylish this year, let's have him as Style Icon /our dealer. We would also like to nominate Pete for a bath as he's very dirty after all that puking /dirrty /Christina /We ship X-T1na/P3te /XTC. Thanks to Australia for producing Steve Irwin /Kyle /Neighbours /Especially Paul Robinson, hot stuff bebe /Talia you're hott too babez. We would also like to take this opportunity to nominate little Walter (Best NewComer LOST) for best representation in a hip-hop video. And Bones for Best Film of the year. Thanks Snoop, keep it real babez. Here's a quote from Bones for you lot..."He ain't white, but he sure as hell ain't black either". Here's another "Shut the fuck up nigger" and another "Fo sure nigga don't go in that mofo house mofo dogg the dogg mo mo fo fo the dogg just gets hungrier mofo". Here's one last one, "Dontcha' wish your girlfriend was a freak like me". Thanks Pussycatz, you're hot too /Paris Hilton / DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSS. James Blunt, you're a lucky man /look who's alone now...it's not me. Anyway, love and peace y'all,

Emma and Emily.

Hello again! Look at me posting twice in one week /kind of. I decided to get rid of Hurley as to be honest he is very annoying... dude, like whoah, dude, doc, hero... we are LOST, dude... chill dude, let's build a golf course, dude I won the lottery and now I'm cursed but I'm chillin' as well... if you're dude around me then dude you will dude die dude dudueueudhdudueueueu DIE. I didn't want to stare at his smug face any longer. SMUG I TELLS YOU. Anyway so yes, it now features my two new favourite comedians, from Peep Show. You probably haven't heard of that. However, I do have an impeccable sense of humour and I can honestly say it is probably the funniest sitcom I've ever seen. Though we do have The Office... though I wouldn't particularly class that as a 'sitcom'.

sjfhsdfjsdghf I HAVE ACTUAL WORK TO DO. God, I hate university. I'm sure I'd like it if I liked law. I like breaking the law but that's about it.. lmfao /lies. I've been quite well behaved recently /since returning home.

I think y'all should entertain me with things, anything, I am bored and wish to put off unpacking for another day /week /month /oopz back at uni. Perhaps shall entertain myself by commenting on some of my friends list entries... I am sure they will like that. I am talking to myself now so bye /sexual.

jshgdfhgdgh A boy I fancy from uni has just signed on to msn but I'm on appear offline, fuck. lmfao. Shall I sign on and talk to him? "Hi I'm hot!".

ALSO IT IS DICK VAN DYKE'S BIRTHDAY TODAY, IF YOU WISH TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIM PLEASE DO SO IN MY COMMENTS, I SHALL PASS YOUR KIND REGARDS ON.

Hello, I am alive. The title of this entry is ironic. I don't actually have much else to say except for a) uni is hell b) wish my stalker would stop being everywhere I am/staring/following/raping/soon c) I'd like some good people to enroll at this uni d) anyone have any food? e) amsterdam on thursday with somefairytale f) lj just told me my pw was too easy to guess, NO ONE'S EVER GUESSED IT BEFORE THOUGH /emily has g) I ain't saying she a goldigga but she ain't dancing with no broke nigga h) halloween today! i) I've really LOST sight of what I'm doing /LOST my heroin help! j) alcohol can cure everything from anxiety, restlessness, being sick, etc, EVERYTHING /lies k) kay thax l) as does weed!

Anyway so yes in a computer room. My net still doesn't work at home. Kay thax for me spending £25 on a wireless card and it doesn't work, kay thax for all the help I've had trying to fix it /none. Anyway I might get it one of these days, just so all you fanz know /I do actually know I have no fanz /lmfao lies got loads.

Z is the new S.

Bye /amsterdam thursday!

Hello! It is I, Emma... you might know me by notinmyhand. And in the words of Gwen Stefani, uh-huh this mah shit /this mah shit song. I decided to get a new livejournal because I was really quite bored with that old one. Also I felt like it was time for a fresh start. So yes, here I am. Feel free to add me, I shall be going through my old friends list and adding people. If you are one of the lucky few who I've decided to add then please welcome me by way of comments. lmao at shameless. So yes this name is based loosely on a song by The Libertines, well I say loosely I think I changed one word. They are great. Most of my posts here will be friends locked, so if you wish to read the majority of my posts (and can I ask, who wouldn't?) then you will have to add me back. gasp. Anyway I am sure I will post properly soon /once everything is sorted out etc.

Ew at I have to go back to university in a week and a half. What a horrendous fact.